Bayville Beat, Boothbay Register, June 28, 2007
By Peter Jordan
Columnist

Hurrah for the Fourth!

If anyone's planning for the Fourth of July, he hasn't told the Beat about it, but we're all expecting the usual floats, flyovers, flame-eaters, flags, and floozies at noon Wednesday. 

Independence Day has a special meaning for Bayville this year, so we can expect even longer and more boring speeches before the Boothbay Region Alumni Community Band wakes us up, marching us down the hill for burned hot dogs and other gourmet treats at the dock. 

A special report from organized crime investigator Hunter Merrill warns of renewed gang activity throughout Bayville, allegedly led by Lucy "Lil Killah" Nielsen, 10. Inspector Merrill reports the following Bayvillians are under investigation as alleged members of the gang: Cole Bradley, 7; Gus Bradley, 9; Quinn Moore, 12; Mary Elizabeth Spencer, 11; Anna Spencer, 10; Jordan Freundlich, 12; Graham Freundlich, 8; and Dan Nielsen; 13. 

Perry Bradley Jr. proposes a mackerel metaphor for the Bayville gang: like Linekin Bay at dusk, Bayville's surface will be deceptively calm, then you'll see a sudden flash and splash of frenzied movement. Then we'll have renewed calm while the mackerel school off in another direction. 

Speaking of mackerel, Barbara Burgess - daughter of Connie and Don Rose - is renting the LaCroix cottage for a couple of weeks, while her two children Emily and Willie Mead (plus friends Olivia Brackett and Patrick Timperio) attend the junior sailing and tennis program at the Boothbay Harbor Yacht Club. Word comes that their favorite part of the program was the capsizing ordeal last week. Nothing like a little 50-degree water to teach you how to bail in a hurry! Barb's husband Bill, expected tomorrow, is waiting for global warming to catch up with the Gulf of Maine before he does any capsizing. 

Joanne and Dick O'Connor and their daughter and son-in-law Alane O'Connor and Kevin Wellenius are just back from a spectacular trip to Bosnia, where they experienced an increasingly rare phenomenon, citizens of a foreign country who love Americans. This international affection was due not (or not only) to the winning personalities of the O'Connor family but also to the fact that Bill Clinton and NATO ended the war there, says Joanne. 

They had day-long hikes, tours of cultural and historical sites, and a day of rafting on the Neretva River - "It was fascinating and beautiful," says Joanne. "The alpine meadows were full of flowers of every color imaginable, and some colors beyond the imagination." 

While Joanne was out of the country, Barb Fredericks, who has been visiting Bayville since the late '60s, was at the Bayville Bass cottage with her Vermont girlfriends Louise, Charlene and Barbara.

Susan Copeland was scheduled to arrive yesterday, unloading the car and doing the other cottage-opening scut work while Rick did the heavy lifting (of a nine iron at a Boston area golf course). Why didn't I write that into my marriage contract? 

Best and biggest news of the week: the Danbury, Connecticut, public school system has hired John Merrill as a full-time teacher. Our only question is, "What took them so long?" If you have any extra champagne (maybe that's an oxymoron in Bayville), send it to Lawn Cottage, where it is much deserved and will be much appreciated. 

A half dozen Bayvillians will host Thursday night cocktails at the Boothbay Harbor Yacht Club this evening. At last report, they were looking for a centerpiece. Blackstone's tree is missing. Any connection? 

No rumor too scurrilous to report! Send it to peterjordan@mind spring.com.